SL um… yeah
For the purpose of the fact that my brain hurts right now and I feel rather horrid, I’m going to refer to the characters, I’m not saying you’re your character, just that I need to get this out and not in a DM where there is a character limit.
Guys. I never meant to seem like a god mod or like I didn’t want to RP w/ anyone. Because I do and did, whatever. It was rather complicated, probably too complicated… but, that meant that I was being myself (Maria) Monique/Monique’s minions/Nick Fury/ and trying to help a friend play Happy. That was a LOT. It kind of hinged on what Tony wanted to do since he was the one who needed the leave of absence in the first place.
It kept changing, and I am NOT complaining about that, but it was designed to be us girls/ & the bad guys/fury/etc to be looking for Stark. Stark decided to do updates and that had to be adjusted around.
It went kind of dark and I apologize for that. I truly do. Anyway, I tried the best I know how to include everyone and I am sorry if I hurt anyones feelings/gave them the wrong idea. I even went as far as to make sure everyone else knew I was doing my best to include everyone to the best of my ability. You can ask Stark, I did this.
I never meant to make anyone feel like I didn’t want them involved. EVER. Please know this. I would never make anyone feel left out of anything. I’m disabled, though I don’t consider myself such but I am. I spend so many conversations feeling left out and not quite knowing what is going on… I would NEVER make anyone else feel this way. I cannot believe that I didn’t realize that for myself.
When the SL was created, I asked for one thing and let me explain why. I have a friend who is wheelchair bound due to an accident. They were very active in life and are rather young. She’s very down right now and I understand being down… I’ve been there. I’ve talked to Scar before about it when she was feeling down one night. Like the Hulk, I tried to make a bad choice but I failed and I’m here now. I’ve beaten cancer… I’ve been in a wheelchair before, and I know how I felt. Anyway, I digress. My friend loves reading RP/Fan Fic stuff and we were talking and she was sad that there aren’t many heorines in comics w/ disabilities… Yes, DC has Oracle or Barbara Gordon in wheelchair but, I think in the reboot they got rid of even that. Anyway, the one thing I discussed with Stark was that I put Maria into the wheelchair for a time and then had her leave Shield and work for Stark for a time before eventually getting better and going back. This was for my friend to show her it’s not the end of the world to be on wheels, nothing more. This was always the plan. You can ask him, we discussed it.
I never meant for Maria/Stark to be in a relationship. I think the first night I ever created the RP character she flirted… (I was very wasted in RL, depressed and drunk and not sure how that went about but it did… ) anyway, I don’t intend her to be in relationship unless it’s with Sitwell. Anyway, I’ve bantered w/ his Stark for a long time and it is kind of enjoyable… But, that is the extent of it. Hell, my Hill has flirted most with Ofelia… LOL. Anyway, if I came across that way I am so very sorry.
This is not meant to hurt anyone, I’m just trying to explain. I’ve never tried to run a SL like this and maybe I shouldn’t… but, things kept changing b/c somebody *Stark* cough *Stark* kept changing the date he’d be back, which was the point of the thing anyway. That is not annoyance or blame or anything. I blame me. But, that is just my nature. I never wanted to leave anyone out. Things were just changing quickly and on the fly. I would love to still RP with all of you and I desperately want handicapable Hill to exist.
What I said to Pepper on the TL About Do you have another Tony, was only meant to mean did you have a back up plan until Stark came back. Not get another Tony cause this one has issues right now. The rest of the why was because my husband has one (And My Maria dated it for a bit) that I have access to and would banter w/ your pepper while Stark is gone so you’re not just out there in limbo w/ nobody to RP with.
I never meant to hurt feelings or make anyone feel not wanted in the SL. Please don’t take this in the wrong way or anything like that. I just needed to get it off my chest that I’m sorry. I want to RP w/ all of you still. Can we just move forward and do this? I’m keeping Nick cause he’s fun to play. (IF I can make him not suck) and hopefully we can all still do this… Get back to fun and doing silly stuff like I do with Fandral or the helmet.
Please accept my apology and don’t think that I meant this as anything but expressing some thoughts.
Thanks.
B
